Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sunday, April 22, 2012; Right Turns

All of their words seemed to fade into the background as their symbols shone through each false expression that left their lips. The rain dripped down the window panes & the simple music shown to be more significant than anything my ears have ever been blessed to hear.

Destruction is the only thing I witness in the light of all our eyes,
in the light of the street signs, lamp posts, & the dimmed dining room late at night.

From within my own heart I have found a vibrancy that makes the sun look bleak.

From within my own heart I've let go of the lies that tied down my feet.

This morning wasn't as simple as I believed it would be; in fact, I forget of the event entirely. When I thought back to the previous premise, a bitter aftershock is what stained my thoughts. I contemplated calling out to you but I haven't spoken a word in months. Not even to a stranger have I expressed this raw insight that surrounds each corner of this very room that I am typing this in.

I can't help but wonder, was this a moment of weakness; was it a decision based off the internal demolition that I am starting to tire of?

I cannot answer that now but I cannot turn around.

Every day since this journey re-began, I have asked myself:
"Do I still feel that serenity I felt six days ago?"

& I do still feel that way, I really do. My heart's found contempt but bitterness still surrounds my roots.
Fear still maneuvers my movements but nothing holds me down.

I've been scared of what these people (the good & the bad) will think but if I still feel this way in a week, I suppose they deserve to know that I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart & that this choice was my own.

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