Sunday, April 22, 2012

Sunday, April 22, 2012; Right Turns

All of their words seemed to fade into the background as their symbols shone through each false expression that left their lips. The rain dripped down the window panes & the simple music shown to be more significant than anything my ears have ever been blessed to hear.

Destruction is the only thing I witness in the light of all our eyes,
in the light of the street signs, lamp posts, & the dimmed dining room late at night.

From within my own heart I have found a vibrancy that makes the sun look bleak.

From within my own heart I've let go of the lies that tied down my feet.

This morning wasn't as simple as I believed it would be; in fact, I forget of the event entirely. When I thought back to the previous premise, a bitter aftershock is what stained my thoughts. I contemplated calling out to you but I haven't spoken a word in months. Not even to a stranger have I expressed this raw insight that surrounds each corner of this very room that I am typing this in.

I can't help but wonder, was this a moment of weakness; was it a decision based off the internal demolition that I am starting to tire of?

I cannot answer that now but I cannot turn around.

Every day since this journey re-began, I have asked myself:
"Do I still feel that serenity I felt six days ago?"

& I do still feel that way, I really do. My heart's found contempt but bitterness still surrounds my roots.
Fear still maneuvers my movements but nothing holds me down.

I've been scared of what these people (the good & the bad) will think but if I still feel this way in a week, I suppose they deserve to know that I've accepted Jesus Christ into my heart & that this choice was my own.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Tuesday, April 17, 2012; Walking Back Home (Cont.)

From within my own heart I have let go of the lies that tied down my feet.

This morning wasn't as simple as I believed it would be; in fact, I forget of the event entirely. When I thought back to the previous premise, a bitter aftershock is what stained my thoughts. I contemplated calling out to you but I haven't spoken a word in months. Not even to a stranger have I expressed this raw insight that surrounds each corner of this very room that I am typing this in.

I can't help but wonder, was this a moment of weakness; was it a decision based off the internal demolition that I am starting to tire of?

I cannot answer that now but I cannot turn around.


Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday, April, 16, 2012; Walking Back Home

All of their words seemed to fade into the background as their symbols shone through each false expression that left their lips. The rain dripped down the window panes & the simple music shown to be more significant than anything my ears have ever been blessed to hear.

Destruction is the only thing I witness in the light of all our eyes,
in the light of the street signs, lamp posts, & the dimmed dining room late at night.

From within my own heart I have found a vibrancy that makes the sun look bleak. 


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Thursday, April 11, 2012; Complaints

The ceiling, she croaks
& you, well you whine
The clocks, they tick
& you, well you get ticked off
The sky cries
& you stay inside
The food's hot
& you forget about dinner
The windows, they fog up
& you stop driving
The moon hides
& so do you
The ships sink
& you never go find them
The strings rust every six months
& you replace them
The night calls
& you don't answer
The shoelaces become untied
& you buy new shoes
The rules were broken
& you make new ones
The lies have been revealed
& so you skip town
The market's open
& you always slept in
The hurricane's a-coming
& you don't care
The whole of humanity is callin'
but you can't hear

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Wednesday, April 10, 2012; Mangled

I think I'm burnt out on making out
The universe doesn't exist in someone else's mouth 
& if you were a spaceship the farthest I've gone is the asteroid belt 
I'm burnt out on cigarettes, booze, & charismatic smiles
No matter how bright everyone can show their teeth 
the sun will always win so I'd rather stare at the sky from now on
I've burnt down the shed that carries all my dreams  
& the ashes have flown with the wind to become means to an end
Now, all that's left is charred glass from the window panes


I will build a glass castle with those remains
Let's pray I don't melt that away

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Wednesday, April 3, 2012; Eiffel Tower

I continue to look back towards the past & I don't entirely understand anything. Sometimes I think that there are two identities fighting within me. A chaotic resistant lover & a boring enthusiastic soul. Almost recently, a choice between the two has presented itself. I don't know what path to take because both require a sacrifice & I don't think I can weigh the differences. All my life I've been trying to combine the two & it's fucking killing me.

Who are you to try to change me?
Who am I to breathe?