Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Tuesday, February 21, 2012; Restocking

Sinking solemnly into a realm where dwellers believe that the company is more than boring. The tea has gone cold, crumpets old & stale. Nothing left to give but misery & disappointment to the ones who's hearts are thirsty for self-sacrifice. Ingredients from the cupboard have gone missing, stolen by the ungrateful & neurotic. Only untouched ideals remain pushed back into the corners of the highest shelves. Things that I'd like to save for the appreciative & deserving, if only worthy by my own standards. A feast, so to say, for the loving & unloved.
Tall tales dance around seclusion that one may take part in. Disease & disasters, selfishness & meaningless ties.
Break me. Mangle my organs if that's what you desire. My heart is locked in a box away from the carnivorous clamor. My intentions unknown since the day I found it within myself to say, "Hello." But now darkened, stiffened, shut off.
Please, dim the lights & softly shut the door when you notice my eyes have grown weak & I can no longer breathe sufficiently 
anymore. Or perhaps, stop staring at me as if you've lost your sight. As if, I'm no longer who I once was or who you thought I was. I am filled with petty imperfections; I am a human being. Falling & tripping on every stone that blocks the path in front me, in front of you.
Months ago, I decided to take a rest & catch my breath. Retrace the steps to which I've gotten myself here. Rethink the lies that have been etched into my arms. Relive explosions trapped in my memories from so many years ago. Fix the damages. Discover something more than movie marathons & expeditions throughout the town. Consume truth & beauty as if it were water falling from the sky. But humanity won't leave me & once I sniff a hint of it's presence I'm addicted to the social construct of company. Mediocre as well as overwhelming. Unneeded but there always.

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