Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Tuesday, February 14, 2012; Catastrophe

Mon Petit Chou- Five months, roughly half a year. That honestly seems so small compared to the four years to which we've actually known each other. It's almost an insignificant number to such an able bond. Look at how far we've come; imagine how far we'll go. 
As you say, "We are impossible."
I tend to be tacky when I find things unneeded, but with that besides the point, I can never doubt that I'm in love. That's a set fact within my state of mind. 
Valentines Day is just so cliche. I even feel cliche for saying that because so many people despise this holiday simply depending on if they have someone to hold their hand. Well, I have someone to hold my hand & I still do not like it. I wish I did. I wish that I could enjoy the simple things that some seem to like, but I can't. Their existence torments me.
I do not like the idea of anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, etc. Why do we put so my effort to make one day special yet it always turns out stressful? Why can't we put out a little extra effort each and every day to make it just a little special, to allow the people whom surround us to know that they are loved. No expectations, no stress, just simple unconditional love.
But it's not that simple when we live in a world of apathy. The people who celebrate these petty holidays are the people who are scared of fulfillment. Their philosophy lies in the hearts of the people around them, their counties, their diamond earrings.
Everything that I have ever planned in attempt to open up these peoples' eyes, I never set out and actually did. The strangers in which I wanted to meet never heard my name or saw my smile due to my own apathetic mindset. Within the past year I've forgotten the one thing that lacks within these dreadful days. I hope things shall be different. Things can change, because things get better I suppose.  But today will be different. I will smile at the awkward, & invade the shy, shake hands with the intimidating, & shock the blind. If I am to celebrate such a fucked up tradition, I shall do it on my own terms.
So my lover, here's to you, & every other stranger, here's to you also.

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