Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Tuesday, January 31, 2012; Loose Charades



You all are so incredibly bitter, tightly bound, & sensibly blind.
I only want to break these boundaries. 

After I had awoken, I was struck with a slap to the face & several moments of disarray. Although this day has blossomed into something wonderful with the ticking of a clock, I still remain unsure and confused. I don't know if I'm making the right decision and I won't know until I fulfill these plans. The words have left my mouth and I seem to see that I've already broken a few shallow hearts.
But I can't let that get to me. Because the things that I remember are the things that define me; they are things that lie to me every day. Dribbling memories only come around when I've dozed off into moments when one could define me as crazy. That is what keeps me up at night. Losing precious time to ponder past events that lost their meaning seconds after they occurred. A fire might blaze but it burns out quite quickly, only leaving crumbled foundations behind, not a beautiful diamond.
You can only be beautiful if you have the means to be.
My family is not familiar, or friendly, or loving.
Lost meanings.
I live amongst sycophants & strangers.
Still everything is downtrodden, & one must come to terms with such rubbish.
Back and fourth, back and fourth, back and fourth, until I forgot which direction I had originally planned to head towards.
I am confused.
I'll let the worthless win while my integrity remains screaming from inside my rib cage. Bruising my bones, begging to be let out. Dying with each failed attempt. Forgetting with each wasted breath. & soon enough, it's gone.

Forever.